Challah in the Hospital: The Night I Discovered Shabbat

Our homemade challah during the quarantine

My brother died suddenly and unexpectedly just before the coronavirus pandemic began.

In our final days together, I discovered that he and his family observed the weekly ritual of Shabbat.

My brother and I didn’t grow up in a religious household, so I was curious about this commitment.

On what would become our final Friday night together, my sister-in-law and nieces brought challah, candles, and wine to the hospital. My brother’s best friend lit the candles and said the prayers. We all sipped wine (or juice) and shared the challah together.

At such a delicate time, this simple ritual had a profound impact on me. In that pause, we found a moment of stillness, solace, and connection—even in one of the darkest moments of our lives.

That experience led me to think more deeply about the role of Shabbat—and “down days”—throughout history.

In her insightful article “Recovering the Sabbath Rest and the Culture of Work,” Natasha Moore writes:

“The commitment to a weekly pause means that, even when things at the office (or elsewhere) are at their most relentless, there is a buffer against work that keeps it from becoming the whole of life, or simply more of life than it merits.”

She also notes that people who observe a Sabbath often report being more productive, not less, because they allow no work—or work-like activity—to cross the threshold of that seventh day.

I also came across the work of Tiffany Shlain, who promotes taking one day off from technology each week. Shlain believes that a tech-free day allows her to return to her online life energized and with a fresh perspective.

Inspired by these ideas—and by that final Friday night with my brother—I decided to incorporate my own version of Shabbat into my life.

To be honest, these “down days” rarely look the same from week to week. They come with plenty of interruptions (often in the form of small people). A fully tech-free day isn’t always possible, but I’ve found that even the intention of taking a day to rest makes a difference.

Now, from roughly sundown on Friday to sundown on Saturday, I try to have a “down day” and limit my use of technology. I love it. It feels like I get a mini-holiday every week.

Here are a few ways I spend the time:

• A slow morning staying in bed—writing, reading, and dreaming.

• Catching up on interesting books and articles I never seem to get to.

• Playing with my children, going for a bike ride, or taking a hike.

• Keeping food simple (peanut butter and jelly sandwiches work just fine).

• Limiting household chores and stepping away from “functional thinking” like to-do lists.

  
  

Now I genuinely look forward to Shabbat. In addition to being a time to slow down, it’s also a time when I feel more connected to my brother and to my family’s story. Giving myself a weekly moment to pause and reflect helps me feel more grounded, connected, and ready to face the week ahead.

What rituals do you have in your life? What helps you de-stress—especially during challenging times? I’d love to hear your thoughts and any tips you might want to share.

Sara Plaw is a Toronto-based writer and content creator. This blog takes a closer look at women who are overlooked in the mainstream, what drives them and what we can learn from their stories.