Women and self-care: Why I reclaimed Shabbat

Our homemade challah during the quarantine

My brother died suddenly and unexpectedly just before the Coronavirus hit.

In our final days together, I made the discovery that him and his family celebrated the weekly ritual of Shabbat.

My brother and I did not grow up in a religious household, so I was curious about how this commitment.

On what would become our final Friday night together, my sister-in-law and nieces brought challah, candles, and wine to the hospital. My brother's best friend lit the candles and said the prayers. We all sipped wine (or juice) and ate challah together.

At this delicate time, this simple ritual had a profound impact on my life. In this pause, we found a still moment of solace and connection even in our darkest moment.

This experience led me to look at the role of Shabbat and "down days" in history.

Natasha Moore's insightful article "Recovering the Sabbath Rest and the Culture of Work” uncovers that;

"The commitment to a weekly pause means that, even when things at the office (or elsewhere) are at their most relentless, there is a buffer against work that keeps it from becoming the whole of life, or simply more of life than it merits."

She says that those who observe a Sabbath affirm across the board that they are more productive, not less because they allow no work or work-like activity to cross the threshold of that seventh day.

https://www.abc.net.au/religion/recovering-the-sabbath-rest-and-the-culture-of-work/10098980

I also came across Tiffany Schlain's work which includes taking a day off from technology.

Schlain believes that a tech-free day allows her to get back to her life online energized and with a fresh perspective. To read more about this:

https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/43822605-24-6-the-power-of-unplugging-one-day-a-week

https://www.wired.com/video/watch/tiffany-shlain-and-ken-goldberg-in-conversation-with-vera-titunik

I have chosen to incorporate Shabbat into my life. To be honest these "down days" rarely look the same from week-to-week and come with challenges and interruptions (often in the form of small people). A full tech-free day is not always possible, but I've found that even the intention of taking a day of rest is helpful.

So, now beginning at sundownish on Friday until sundownish on Saturday, I have have a down-day and limit my tech use. I love it, it feels like I get a mini-holiday every week..

Here are some things I use the time for:

• A morning to stay in bed and write, read and dream.

• A time to catch up on interesting books and articles I never seem to get to.

• I play with my children, go for a bike ride or a hike.

I don't worry too much about food or cooking ( peanut butter and jelly sandwiches do the trick). I limit household chores and functional thinking (e.g. To-Do lists).

Now, I look forward to Shabbat. In addition to being a time to slow down, it's a time that I feel more connected to my brother and my family history. Giving myself a weekly moment to reflect and relax also helps me feel more settled, connected, and prepared to face the week ahead.

What rituals do you have in your life? What helps you de-stress? Especially during Coronavirus? Do you have any tips to share? Please comment below or on the linked-in group page.

Sara Plaw is a Toronto-based writer and content creator. This blog takes a closer look at women who are overlooked in the mainstream, what drives them and what we can learn from their stories.